Today marks a milestone in my life: 30 years of sobriety. I don’t share it to brag, but hopefully to encourage others that are in the same “one day at a time” situation in their lives.
July 16th, 1988, I had been 21 years old for 8 months. I was in the Army. I had been drinking and doing drugs for just over 5 years by this time, including smoking cigarettes. (I don’t know why, but cigarettes and substance abuse seem to go hand in hand).
But to know why I finally had enough, I’ll have to go back a bit.
Ephesians 2:1-10 reads: “1 And you were dead in the trespasses and sins 2 in which you once walked, following the course of this world, following the prince of the power of the air, the spirit that is now at work in the sons of disobedience— 3 among whom we all once lived in the passions of our flesh, carrying out the desires of the body and the mind, and were by nature children of wrath, like the rest of mankind. 4 But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, 5 even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ—by grace you have been saved— 6 and raised us up with him and seated us with him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, 7 so that in the coming ages he might show the immeasurable riches of his grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus. 8 For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, 9 not a result of works, so that no one may boast. 10 For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.” (ESV)
This will be the Reader’s Digest version: To start, though, my parents were together until I was in 4th Grade (I have a sister 2 years younger than I). My dad, an LA City Firefighter, and my mom mostly a Homemaker, but then the last couple of years they were together, looking for work and becoming a Dental Office Assistant and all that entails. I won’t get into the details as to why they divorced, but they did and it was the 1970’s so my sister and I went with my mom, visiting my dad every 2 weeks, becoming “latch-key” kids because now my mom worked.
Somewhere along the way my mom and sister stopped getting along; my dad remarried, and so she went to live with them. I stayed with my mom, for the time being.
In High School I went to live with my Dad and step-mom when my mom was getting remarried and moving as far from the beach as anyone could to me at the time. By now I was surfing and I didn’t want to leave my High School, so moving in with my dad, who wanted me, also, was the next best thing.
Understand, both of my parents wanted my sister and myself. There was never a thought that they didn’t. But they were divorced and that made it difficult when they fought each other.
In High School I was introduced to marijuana (though my first time smoking pot was way earlier than that, this is where I started continual usage) and beer. I had pretty much just turned 16 when I started smoking pot, and beer was the next natural flow. Romans 3:10-18 quotes parts of Psalms 14 and 53, but basically describes “Man’s heart as evil, not seeking after God, and that there is none righteous not even one.” We are inherently evil. That’s just so you know where I’m coming from because as I quoted Ephesians above, this is just one of the areas I was “dead in my trespasses.”
(Before this, I had been baptized in the Presbyterian Church and was calling myself a Christian. You may read the whole Prodigal Son episode in Luke 15:11-32, which I’ve applied to my testimony, also.)
As I was continuing in my drug use and drinking, I was working hard. My schoolwork was suffering in the classes I wasn’t very fond of, but I still got A’s in classes I enjoyed, even Math and English. But when I was partying, I was partying hard.
By my Senior year in High School I was smoking pot almost every day. I had tried other drugs, including cocaine and hash. I was also graduating to the harder stuff like rum and vodka. It was so easy to get. I was in High School from 1981 to 1985, as a reference.
When I graduated I didn’t want to go to college so I went to work full time and continued partying hard on the weekends. By this time I enjoyed smoking pot nearly everyday; was smoking hash when pot was hard to come by; and used cocaine, speed, mushrooms and even dropped acid once. My choice of hard liquor was moving to Whisky. I still enjoyed downing a half case of beer with my buddies. I was having a lot of fun, and still calling myself a Christian.
When I was 19 years old it started to unravel. I got 2 possession of marijuana tickets, minor in possession of alcohol, buying alcohol with a fake I.D., and topped it off with a DUI right when I turned 20. It was a messy 9 months with 2 trips to jail, 2 calls to my dad to bail me out, and 2 trips to court to solve my legal issues.
I fully believe Ephesians 2:1-3 sounds like it applies to my life at this point.
On my second trip to jail, my dad gave me an ultimatum: Move out of the house or see a recruiter. I chose the latter since most of my money was spent on drugs and alcohol and I had no savings.
I went into the Army where I was still able to access drugs and alcohol. But if you look at verse 4 of Ephesians 2 above, “But God” is so important to the rest of my story.
I met a dude, Kelly, at Ft Knox, KY that was from Washington State and he and I hung out. He didn’t drink and when I found out why (sober from heroin for 4 years by this time) I remembered my mom having issues with alcohol. She was sober by this time, too, but it’s part of the details left out above. My buddy, Kelly, asked me one time if I thought I drank too much. Since I had been hanging out with other drunks, I was never asked that. Kelly was a great friend and I’m surprised he wanted to hang out with me, “but God” made sure he ended up in my life at this moment.
After one more black-out drunk from a fifth of Southern Comfort, I awoke on July 16th, 1988 with the awful feeling that I might have driven a car the night before, but not remembering the night at all. Thankfully someone did take my keys from me, but I went on about my day, super hungover, to go waterskiing on the Ohio River with other bud’s than Kelly. So I smoked a joint to cure some of the hangover and went waterskiing.
When I got back I realized I needed to change. The only way that was going to happen was to remember my roots. I went to Kelly to see about going to my first AA meeting and that night we went.
From that moment on, I realized that I needed to make changes and the only way to continue down this path was to let God take control of my life. A life I said I gave Him control of many years earlier when I was baptized.
I can give so many reasons I went down this path, but in the end, I made my decisions, so I’m solely responsible for my actions. “But God” does not hold my past against me because of what Jesus did on the cross for my sins.
That’s the rest of the story and why the rest of Ephesians (2:4-10) matters so much. It’s His grace that allowed me to realize what terrible decisions I was making in my life and how they were clouded by being constantly high, if only on weekends by the time I was in the Army.
This could go on for a long time of all of the things God has done for me through Christ, but just know that I’m not here to preach to you, just tell you my story. How I’ve reached 30 years of sobriety (and now 20 years cigarette and nicotine free) is by the Grace of God. He gets all the credit. I’m thankful to those he’s placed in my life to hold me accountable.
In the 30 years I’ve remained sober, I’ve dedicated my time to serving the churches I’ve been involved with, but again, it’s not about how great I am, because I am not, but about how great a God I serve is.
So I’m thankful for where I am. I’m so very grateful for my wife, my job, my friends and family, and most of all to Jesus Christ, the one true Savior of mankind.